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I'm starting to get really nervous about going to work. I've been away from the material for a year, I haven't had to work to anyone's schedule for a year, and I haven't been apart from my little one at all really. I wish I didn't have to do it full time but I do, and there's no getting around that.

I'm also really nervous about finding a post-doctoral position. My school is pretty much done with me, and has very little help as far as placement goes. I don't really know where to look other than the obvious or what I'm doing, so this will be a little interesting. The other frustrating part is that I didn't get an APA accredited internship, so that closes the door to a lot of academic post-doctoral positions.

I keep telling myself that I find a job where I can make enough money to support my family. But I'm afraid now, that I won't be able to. I'm feeling very mediocre, and not all hireable for more than scutwork, and routine jobs with nasty corporations that nobody would take if they had any choice. Gods, I want to be able to DO something with my life. I want to make enough money to send LB to preschool, and think about buying a house and a dog. I'd like to make enough to actually get above the poverty line, much less aproach being middle class.

I'm afraid of being poor and grumpy for the rest of my life.

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mornglory

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